Our Secret Place

Every evening, I target to get my children to sleep by 9.30pm. As all of us are sleeping in the same room, its easy to see what are they are up close to bed time. One evening, after our usual devotion, I realised that Clarissa had sneaked out of the room. “Where did Clarissa go?” I asked. “She must be in the living room with Gong Gong (or grandpa).” Joe answered.

Recently, as part of a tin-mining museum contribution project, my dad has been busy with the building of a miniature palong. As Clarissa loves art and craft, she has taken a keen interest in the project by observing what my dad does every night and helping to pick up rubbish scattered all around his work station.

As the time ticked pass bedtime, I was wondering if I should get Clarissa. Afterall, I was glad that my dad had found himself a young fan and it was not frequent that they shared some thing in common. When the hour hand hit 10pm, I could hear Clarissa coming into the room. She was pacing up and down in the bedroom, looking thoughtful.

“What’s the matter?” I asked. “Gong Gong is having some difficulties in assembling his palong. He needed to find a medium to support the stilts, so that he could put it all together.” She said while giving a frown. “There must be a way. I have to help him with this.” Again, she was walking around the room, thinking. I was amazed at her determination. More importantly, I was touched by her keenness to help. I could almost imagine myself in her shoes, trying to resolve a problem “for God”, whether at my work place or with my children. My response would have been “There must be a way! I must pray and ask for God’s help!”

While I was getting absorbed in my thoughts, Clarissa turned to me and asked “Mummy, do you know of any suitable material?” I suggested “How about plasticine or play dough?” Immediately, she left the room to tell Gong Gong the options. Although Clarissa was too young to come up with a solution, I was profoundly moved by her intentions and actions. If my dad were in the room to see how troubled she looked, he would be moved. Similarly, when God sees us, in our secret places, how burdened we are over His people, His church, His designated workplace for us, He will be immensely moved too.  And when we turn to Him with our problems through prayers, He could but only help us.

He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. (Psalm 91:1)

File picture of a palong:-

Old Job vs New Job

Sometimes, I like to day-dream about my previous job. I enjoyed the nature of my work: playing with figures. I also got on very well with my colleagues and my bosses. On retrospective, I thought I had the perfect job! The only imperfections were: the hours were long and I was making lots of money for my corporate clients who were already filthy rich to begin with! The latter rendered my career meaningless, to a certain extent. I loved my work but I didn’t like the idea that I was making money for a selected few at the expense of many. That was when I decided to quit and embark on something totally different.

Now, I am still seated at a corporate office. God has blessed me with great and dedicated colleagues and of course, I also get on with my bosses, who happen to be my father and my brother. I loved the environment and the quality of life, except now, I dread and even have nightmares about my work! Afterall, dealing with PRs and damage control are not my forte; I was only good at figures. Therefore, for sometime, I had been struggling with my work unconsciously until last Saturday.

We met up with R and S for dinner. Although we haven’t really spoken for more than three years, our conversations certainly went deeper than any other conversations we have had for the 10 years that we have known one another! They shared about how God had provided for them, each and every step. And the most amazing part was: when R had to go overseas for 9 months to pursue his master, S was left to take care of their already ballooning overdraft without a permanent job, and it was within the 9 months, that God had helped them to clear all their bank overdrafts! When R asked me how I was doing, I shared with them my work dilemma. “Although I don’t enjoy my work as much as I did before, I find it more meaningful as I am actually helping my colleagues.” I finished off with a sigh. “Well Fee, you never know. God might have placed you where you are, to train you up for a greater purpose!” R responded immediately.

Not only was I taken aback by his remark, I also realised that God was speaking to me through this brother. It was as though God wanted to reassure me that I was walking on the right track as on the very next day, He again reminded me of these verses through Rev Marvin:-

“That's why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:10)

It was precisely that I am not good at what I am doing, that I have learnt to rely on God so much, including praying through each and every obstacles that I face at work. If I had relied on my own strength or wisdom, I would no doubt fail miserably.

Thank you God for blessing me with friends, who remind me of who you are and your assurances, that all is well in your hands, including my career.

Rainbow in a Different Form

My week kick-started with an unexpected tragic incident that occurred at my workplace. As the week progresses, bad news continue to flood in. In fact, just yesterday, as I was putting damage control to yet another problematic customer, I began to feel discouraged and downcast. Out of the blue, I received a call from one of our internet providers, that they had just arrived for a meeting. “I wasn’t informed of this beforehand! How could they just drop by to see us!” I said to my colleagues, venting my frustrations. After a few days of fire fighting, I was not prepared to meet yet another party to hear about their assessment of our “problematic” internet cabling or poor equipment.

I dragged my feet grudgingly to the meeting and prayed “Lord, I don’t think I can handle another meeting that might require another round of damage control! Please help me to be nice to them and give me strength for this!” I had earlier on prayed for some blue skies and rainbow to cheer my day, but this meeting was definitely not the answer I had anticipated.

At the meeting, I was surprised that the company’s reps were all politeness and they were in fact, giving me a list of suggestions, as to how we could improve our internet services to our customers. For the first time, I was just happy to sit back and listen to their advice, and the best part was, they were also offering their help and cooperation, so that in the event of complaints, one of their technicians would be here to standby to trouble shoot (for free)! So far, I have been trying to solve endless problems with my team of already overloaded IT staff. To be offered assistance at a critical time such as this is truly God sent! The amazing part was: one of my key IT staff needed to go on leave for a week when we were expecting maximum usage. Just as I was thinking how I could get experienced part-timers to cover for the week, the answer landed on my lap, literally!

Sometimes, blue skies and rainbow come disguised in a different form and I couldn’t thank God enough for this, which was way beyond my expectations!

For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. (Luke 11:10)

Pleasure in Donuts

First thing in the morning, Joseph came to me with a big smile, normally a prerequisite for a request. “Mum, I feel like eating a donut today.” He looked at me with his soft eyes. Usually, I would brush such request aside and try to distract him with food that was already in the house. Today, I felt like making an exception.

I recalled seeing a dunkin donut outlet on the other side of the highway while sending Clarissa to Boys Brigade. That would mean that I had to use the highway on the way back and drop by at the donut place. Not only was I incurring additional toll charges just to get a donut, I was also surprised to find a price surge in them. “How could people spend RM2.40 on a donut!?” I murmured to myself. 

But when I arrived home, I couldn’t wait to see the look on Joseph’s face. I could just imagine the joy on his face. “Yummy! This is the best donut I have tasted!” he exclaimed while munching away. For that, I was willing to go back to the highway store again and forget about the inflated cost of the donut.

In many ways, our Heavenly Father too loves to surprise us with gifts, especially when we least expect it. Thank you Father for Your unending love for us. 

Praying for our Leaders

Lately, apart from constant challenges from work, I experienced a foretaste of what it was like to be a target for bad publicity. It was a mixture of fear, anger, injustice and a great burning desire to set things right. However, people in general give more credit to “an apparent” victim, rather than question about the real truth that lies behind.

In fact, I have to some extent lost faith in our local media and reporters. I know that this may not apply to every reporter, but sometimes, reporters are only reporting selective facts that a certain party would like the public to know. Never mind about accuracy and the other side of the story. Forget about verification of facts. The important thing is to get the story on the headlines and the nine o’clock news. Little considerations are given on the repercussions involved.

I suppose such are the news that would sell. Now that I have the sacred opportunity to be standing on the other side of the balance, I realised that readers and viewers have both been fooled. It was also at this time that I caught a glimpse of how Jesus must have felt when his own people turned against him and misunderstood him. It was an awful lingering feeling that made blue sky seemed dull. It behaved like a shadow that followed me wherever I go, except that this shadow was constantly throwing false accusations at me!

Suddenly, I realised how wrong I had been, when I too was hurling stones at our politicians and leaders, whenever they were “caught” doing something questionable. It was definitely easy for me to criticize, to judge and to form a seemingly right opinion. My dear brother recently reminded me with this timely advice “Be part of the solution in our society and our country! Don’t criticize our leaders but pray for them! We don’t know the full picture of what went on in their lives, but regardless, they need our prayers! Its easy to just stand there and judge but it would take someone with a bigger heart to pray.”

“I urge, then, first of all, that requests, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone— for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. This is good, and pleases God our Savior”1 Timothy 2:1-3

New Supplier, New Challenges

Recently, I have been quite preoccupied with problems encountered at work. A few months ago, I was given a proposal to change our existing internet provider to a new player in the market. As we have been facing many unresolved problems with our current supplier, the opportunity to consider an alternative was like a breath of fresh air.

After much praying and seeking the Lord, I felt that we should give this new player a chance. This would involve considerable risks on our side as more than half of our customers will be utilizing the new services provided and I am sure that there will be oppositions from them. Therefore, as with every new venture, I expect some teething problems but not to the extent that I had perceived. Soon, I was informed that students had been complaining about us on their blogs and facebooks. Complain forms piled up quicker than we could resolve them. Efforts to resolve complaints had been futile. Advice from the new supplier didn’t work.

Not long after that, I found myself awake at night, chasing endless trains of thoughts. At one point, I even thought that I had heard God wrongly about taking up the proposal. A few nights ago, I was going through the same roller coaster ride when out of nowhere, I could hear a still small voice telling me “Fee, why don’t you talk to the supplier again, telling them that you can’t seem to implement their internet service?” “But Lord, that’s not within their scope of service, I will be asking them for an extra mile, which they might not give due to legal implications. But I guess there is no harm trying.” I replied.

The next day, I called T and explained to him again, that we are facing more problems that we could handle. Almost immediately, he said he would bring his technicians and troubleshoot the problems with us. The team came yesterday and went on to investigate the connections at some of our problematic houses. Throughout this time, I prayed that this group of experts could identify and solve the issues at hand. Then to my greatest relief, at the end of day, they came back and informed me that there were some cabling problems, which needed rectification from their side. Therefore, not only did they help me resolve at least part of my problems, but they have also agreed not to charge my company for this entire period until the cables had been rectified! In addition to that, once they have resolved their side of the issues, they would come back again to help us look at our problems!

Well, I think that is a great milestone for us and for the team to take this extra mile, I have no doubt that there is divine intervention behind! As expected, I slept like a baby last night!

 Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.  (Psalm 23:6)

Delightful Fruits

As we were travelling back from the children’s music class, Clarissa was happily enjoying her portion of delicious honey sweet mango. “Who gave such delightful mangoes to you?” she asked me. “Its one of our friends from KL.” “Where did your friend find these mangoes?” “She must have bought it from her usual fruit supplier.” I was beginning to wonder where this conversation might lead to. “How did the supplier know that these mangoes are so sweet?” She asked again, popping another slice into her mouth. “The supplier must have tried it himself before recommending them to Aunty Helen.” I replied, hoping that this would be the end of it.

However, she continued, “The supplier must have tasted the mango and found it to be sweet. Then, he proceeded to plant the seed, from which the whole mango tree grows. Now, he has a whole tree full of sweet mangoes to sell!” She said matter-of-factly. “Only a good tree can produce sweet mangoes!” That was her conclusion.

I must admit that I was surprised at her profound findings. There I was, providing some superficial answers, hoping that they would satisfy her; but Clarissa was searching for the “truth” behind.

Our Lord Jesus had also commented on a good tree bearing good fruits 2000 years ago:

“No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. Each tree is recognized by its own fruit. People do not pick figs from thornbushes, or grapes from briers. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.” Luke 6:43-45

A while ago, one of my non-believer friends shared with me about her Christian friend, who was engaged in immoral activities. I recalled telling her that although this friend might profess to be a Christian, she was unlikely to be committed to the Lord. “If she is truly dedicated to Jesus, she would find it hard to betray her husband.” I shared. At that point in time, I had forgotten about the “Good Tree” teaching by Jesus.    

Indeed, if anyone is in Christ, it would be quite impossible for him to produce “bad fruits”. 

No Rocket Science

Ever since stepping into the F&B industry, I found myself reading more and doing more research. In fact, I have never ordered books in the internet until I discovered that most of the notable F&B textbooks are available on Amazon. I have even subscribed to restaurant owners.com to tap into their numerous audio resources, articles and monthly magazines.

Having armed with all these useful information, one would think that our F&B outlet must be doing exceedingly well. On the contrary, we are barely surviving (hence, the research)! Over time, I realised that all these knowledge are futile if I don’t put them to good use. Therefore, meetings were set-up to discuss about our operations, and what we can do to improve the performance of not only the outlet but the staff too.

Once we start to apply the theories, the pieces begin to come together. Revenue is now charted on a positive gradient and the staff is beginning to see an improvement in the management. There was no rocket science really but it took me a few months to realize the importance of fervent practice and continuous application!

In fact, after I have been through the process above, my comprehension of what Jesus spoke regarding the builder who built his house on the rock versus one who built his on sand, took on a new level.

“Why do you call me, 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do what I say? I will show you what he is like who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice. He is like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built. But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete.” Luke 6 46-49

It is amazing what was spoken more than 2000 years ago by our Lord is relevant in so many areas of our lives, including our work. If I could put in so much effort to improve my work performance, surely I would place even more emphasis when it comes to my spiritual life and eternal destination? Sadly, this doesn’t happen all the time.

Thank you Lord for showing me the importance of active obedience and putting to practice what I have learnt from your words. As much as our F&B outlet has benefited from the application of proven theories, our lives would be transformed for the better when we choose to obey you.

A Saturday Encounter

This wasn’t how our spent our typical Saturday night but to show our support to our church’s Boys Brigade, we bought tickets and attended their 10^th Anniversary Dinner. Thinking that this would be a dull evening, I was pleasantly surprised when I found a friendly mother seated next to me, asking me about what I thought of Boys Brigade.

“My son is turning to be quite rebellious and upon my friend’s recommendation, I decided to enroll him on BB. So, how do you think BB has impacted your daughter’s life?” Melisssa asked curiously.  I told her that we enrolled Clarissa so that she would be more willing to try out new stuff. She has always been quite reserved but through the numerous activities organized by BB, she has learnt to be more independent and helpful at home. She has also grown to be more socially aware of the poor and needy.   

Over the course of time, she began to be more open and started to tell me about her Christian friends. “I could really see how your religion has impacted my friends’ lives. Through hardships and heart-breaking reconciliations, I could see their faith at work! I wouldn’t know how to cope if I were put in their shoes, but I can really see that Christianity is a real source of spiritual and emotional support in their lives” She shared without hesitation.

“Well then, this shows that God has been knocking on the door to your heart, asking you to open the door to let him in. What you had witnessed was more than mere spiritual support, but rather its God at work in their lives, which is supernatural power.” I responded. “Now, the same God is standing before you and reaching out to you through your friends. It is not just help that He is offering, but eternal life and forgiveness from our sins.  One day, we will all face judgment after we died and God will stand as our judge and determine our final destination. Therefore, it is important that we are reconciled to Him before its too late.” When I explained to her that her salvation was just a prayer away, she was amazed.

Although we had since gone on our own separate ways, I prayed that God will continue to touch her life and more importantly, that she would one day, open her heart to receive Jesus as her personal Saviour.

"And everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved." Joel 2:32

Putting Up a Struggle

I love peace and quietness at home. In fact, after Joseph turned 2, these were rare occurrences at home. I would be quite happy to trade hard-to-win compliance from him with just peace and quietness.

However, teaching obedience comes with a price; it quite often comes with a struggle. It didn’t matter to Joseph that I was driven to my limits nor that I had in fact a pile of office work waiting for me to digest and especially not that I was exhausted from a day’s work. Joseph was determined to have his way. He would use a hammer to bang on the room door until it was dented, or he would roll on the floor if he found himself in a lying down position, or he would stomp on his feet if his two feet were conveniently standing, and his most powerful weapon would be his relentless, insufferable, aggravating cries!

I found my authority challenged, emotions drained, sanity pushed to the limit. Years ago, I read a book entitled “Boundary with Kids” in which the author encouraged the parents to stay firm and not give in to their children as one day, these children would “give up their stand” and choose to obey instead! For about two years, I was clinging onto this advice but more importantly, I have been praying to our Heavenly Father almost every night out of desperation.

To my surprise, I realised that the first person who needed changing was not Joseph but me! Through the crying sessions, God taught me about patience and staying focus. Moreover, my love for peace and quietness was in fact a reflection of my self-centredness. As soon as I put aside my expectation, I found his wailing sessions easier to bear.  Over time, I began to learn that part of the reason why he cried persistently was that he was afraid to lose my love. Therefore, despite feeling annoyed, I had to assure him that I loved him.

Recently, my mum commented to me “Did you realize that it has been some time since Joseph cry?” Much to my amazement, my mum was right! In fact, I thought that every one of us has a chapter similar to Joseph’s. First, we who are stiff necked, turned away from God and went after our own dreams. God through his patience and love, continued to pursue us until one day, we decided to return to Him in repentence. Over time, through the working of His Holy Spirit, we learned to obey God lovingly and willingly. Our lives display the work of His hands. Praise the Lord for His faithfulness!

“Trials have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.” 1 Peter 1:7

Slowing Down

Due to my professional training, I placed great emphasis on deadlines and carried undue urgency in completing an assignment. Therefore, the phrase “learning to take my time” was alien in my work ethics, until my children came along.

Simple tasks like getting them to bed could take one hour or more, and weaning them to sleep on their own, at their own bed, has taken me more than 8 years and so far, I have yet to succeed! I used to take 15 mins to get ready before going out; now, I am delayed by having to pack and getting Clarissa and Joseph ready; and if any one of them were to interrupt my train of thoughts and instruct me further on what to bring, I would have forgotten what I was engaged in at the first place!

Through parenting, God has brought home a valuable lesson to me: Time is no longer of essence but how I bring up my children is of paramount importance. I could almost hear Him whispering into my ears “Fee, you need to slow down and listen to your children. You need to walk in step with them, otherwise, you would not be able to appreciate them as you ought to.”

Last Saturday, I had the opportunity to sit and watch Clarissa and Joseph taking their swimming lessons. To my amazement, they had progressed much more than I had expected. Joseph, my five year old, who could barely float 1 month ago, was learning free style!

Up till when Joseph was four, he was known to be difficult. His cries used to drive all of us up the wall and away from him. Now, I realised that he has shed his old ways. His dreaded trademark is replaced with cheerfulness and cheekiness. Most of all, he is able to listen to reasoning without losing his cool. I can’t help but smile when I see him kicking in the water despite his constant complains of chill. His ability to put aside his dislikes and emotions warms my heart.

Such reflections made me realize how much both of them have grown not only in physique but also in character. I used to make it my daily goal that they are trained to sleep in their own beds; now I am enjoying the warmth of their bodies and the sound of their breathing next to me every night. Thank you God for blessing me with Clarissa and Joseph and using them to change my worldly values.

Children are a gift from the Lord: they are a reward from Him. (Psa 127:3)