One Small Step

I came from a family in which my parents, apart from sending me to the right school, had no idea how I was performing, academically. They hardly asked me about my exam grades and if I had problems with any of my subjects, I was expected to sort it out on my own. Right from the start, my mum explained to me the importance of education and that was that!

Now, it is my turn to oversee Clarissa's education and I find that I am feeling it more than her. If she were to fair badly, which she had for her mid-year exams, I felt a certain failure probably more than she had ever felt; There was some inexplicable sadness hovering over me as I realized that whatever time and effort that I had put in for the past 6 months were inadequate! Instead of viewing it as her failure, I felt that I had failed her in many ways. I couldn't pin-point why but I could certainly feel the weight of the responsibility behind.

Suddenly, I began to examine my teaching method, and to a certain extent, my parenting skills! Was I wrong to allow her to indulge in her favourite programme? Did I give her too much room to decide how to utilize her time? My mind was filled with numerous questions including if I had found her the right tuition teacher!?!

First, I had to come to terms with my own "failing" and accept that Clarissa is weak in certain topics. Then, I have to garner enough courage to persevere in my effort. Unlike her classmates who are being tutored 24/7, Clarissa would still need to continue in her extracurricular activities, being BB, art and music classes. Both of us would need to work out some time for her to do some practice worksheets and yet at the same time, she could still have the space to read or go to the park. She is at this stage where her co-operation is to be sought rather than imposed.

A friend reminded me recently that the journey of a thousand steps begins with one small step. Parenting a child, who is struggling academically, does require one small step at a time.