Pray for Patience to be Patient

After becoming a mother of three, I realized that I would never be able to spend quality time with my older twos (at least for now) unless I multi-task! I was put to the test during my confinement period, which unfortunately also coincides with income tax return due date, Clarissa and Joseph’e mid-year exams, and Ray’s laundry business accounts’ submission.

It was as if God had sent Chia Yiu, my sister-in-law to pre-empt me for this abnormally demanding period, as I could still recall her sharing with me “Fee, when God put you to the test, instead of the usual moaning and sighing, ask God for strength and you will be surprised at your ability to handle your trials. If you are tired, just a nap! Soon, you will realize that you have managed more than what you think you could!” And how true that was!

Initially, I was relying on my own strength to breastfeed Priscilla (which seem to take forever), chair staff meeting from my house, rush out the income tax returns, wrap up Ray’s accounts and revise with the children for their exams.

By the third week, I found myself getting impatient with my older twos as they were constantly forgetting what they had learnt the day before. To top it off, Priscilla had been unusually difficult by refusing to sleep and being fussy for more than 6 hours in a stretch.

One night when I felt that my world was collapsing on me, I found myself crying to Ray that I couldn’t handle the work and motherhood all at one go! In reality, I was looking for sympathy and wishing that he could take over. At that very moment, I was reminded of what Chia Yiu had said “Take a nap when you need to!” Such simple words but that was the solution that I needed. It was then that I remembered to turn to God, pouring out my complaints, struggles, guilt and pains. “I wished that I could be more patient with Clarissa and Joseph! I shouldn’t have over-reacted by shouting at them.” I confessed through my tears. “I couldn’t stop myself from being a demanding mother.”

God took all my tears and pain; and replaced them with peace and rest. The very next day during my quiet time, He reminded me with these words:-

“My soul waits for the Lord, more than watchmen wait for the morning.”

Psalm 130:6

“I pray for the patience to endure times of trial, to keep anticipating, keep hoping, keep believing. I pray for patience to be patient” by Philip Yancey

It then dawned on me that I needed patience to adapt to motherhood, patience to learn to be less demanding of others and of myself, patience to learn to be patient. May God grant me patience to learn all of these. If you are wearied and burdened, take a nap and seek God, you will be surprised at the treasures that He has in stored for you!

Meantime, I owe Clarissa and Joseph an apology.