Recently, we went on a star cruise holiday with my family while Ray stayed behind to look after his “business”. This is the first time that I am on holiday alone with Clarissa and Joseph. As part of their preparation for the holiday (and for my own sanity), I laid down some ground rules such as:-
1. there must be no fighting;
2. no throwing of tantrums; and
3. everyday, they have to spend half an hour doing homework (I know, I am such a kill joy).
“Else, you risk being thrown overboard to be fed to the sharks” I told them (ha ha ha, like I would do that).
Being stuck together for 24 hours a day would inevitably result in some conflicts. This is accentuated when there is no place to hide or get some time-out. On the last night of our cruise, I found Joseph standing in a corner, fidgeting with Clarissa’s new toy: a plastic camera with pre-taken pictures of sea creatures! A novelty that I had granted after our visit to Sentosa Island’s underwater world.
Joseph was trying to pull out the plastic coated film frantically. Then I realized what had happened: While Clarissa was in the bathroom, Joseph had taken the camera, without his che che’s permission and my knowledge, to play with it. Unfortunately, he had inserted the film the wrong way, and it was stuck. I went over and asked him innocently “What are you doing?” “I am trying to pull out the film!” his usual loud voice was replaced with an amazingly soft reply, almost inaudible. “You didn’t ask for permission to play with it right?” I probed further. “No, I didn’t” he replied, with an angelic smile that could make any mothers melt!
Forgetting the point of this lesson, I took the camera from him and tried to pull it out as hard as I could. As I heard Clarissa turned the door knob, I pulled even harder, whispering a prayer and giving an unconscious shout! Just as she stepped out from the bathroom, I succeeded! Under my breath, I told Joseph not to touch it again, without Clarissa’s approval.
On retrospect, I realize that as grown-ups, we are very much similar to kids. When we sin, we try to cover up by doing good works, donating to worthy courses, making sacrifices to our God(s), praying more etc. The heart of the matter is: when we commit a sin, we need forgiveness. It didn’t matter what we do, our sin still stay. Just as Joseph had tried very hard, he couldn’t solve his problem that resulted from his sin (of not obeying his sister). He needed someone else to stand in for him.
Only Jesus has the power and authority to forgive our sins. As the scripture tells us that Jesus bore our sins on the cross so that we could be whole again. Jesus came so that we could have life, addressing the heart of the issue. Joseph needed Clarissa’s and God’s forgiveness. All of us need God’s forgiveness and before He could forgive, we need to confess to Him - only then we could be set free and be complete again.