Homework Challenge or Character Building?

When I first became a parent, struggling with night feeds and napping times, I was told by someone who had a toddler that “So, having sleepless nights eh? Wait till she learns to walk and talk back at you!” Seasons came and seasons went. When mine became a toddler, I was overwhelmed with her food picking habits and reluctance to communicate. “Well, you think you are having a tough time? Wait till they go to school and you have to go through their school work!”


At the blink of an eye, I am now going through Clarissa’s school work and complaining of the amount of time that I have to spend with her. I have not sighed so much in my life until now! “If you think going through school work is tedious, wait till Clarissa becomes a teenager!” my sister-in-law shared her insight. Wait, before I get there, I have to grapple with the daily tormenting task of monitoring and tutoring.


Almost every day after work, I would put away my bags and get started with checking Clarissa’s schoolwork. I dread the time spent as I find it a real struggle to be patient with her. Sometimes, I have to deal with a tired girl; some days, a foul-mood child; other days, a distracted child. Finding a day that Clarissa would be happily settled down and seated next to me is close to striking a lottery (not that I buy one of course).


However, over time, I realized that the problem lies with me as much as it does with her. Before I demand that she change her attitude, I need to examine mine. An honest dissection soon reveals that I am overly impatient and demanding. My irritated voice and constant sighing probably propel her to feeling unmotivated more than anything else. I can’t change the way I am, not with my own strength. This is when I am reminded again that God is the one who could change me and grant me patience when it is needed most.


Slowly, I realize that on the days when I rely on God for strength and patience, my sessions with Clarissa turn out to be fun and fruitful; the days that I allow my own irritations to get the better of me, both Clarissa and I end up feeling sore about each other. Perhaps God is using Clarissa to change me, so that I could grow to be more Christ-like.


I can do everything through Him who gives me strength (Philippians 4:13)