When Failure Isn’t Important

Ever since Clarissa was enrolled in a Chinese school, I have been struggling with our local education system. Now that she is in primary 2, the standard of Chinese and Malay taught are unreasonably high whereas the English is still lingering within the region of kindergarten and primary 1! Teachers are geared towards the students' academic results rather than their overall development. I am not saying that these are all bad. There are still some good values inculcated such as respecting the elderly and even providing for our parents in their old age as a form of appreciation of what they had done for us! Such values may be regarded by many as outdated but in reality, these are important and would help to resolve many of our social problems.

I have never been so active in evaluating our education system until now. I need to amplify and reinforce the good and at the same time, critically evaluate and examine the "not so good". My most recent struggle had been to deal with Clarissa's overly poor performance in her Chinese and Malay papers during her mid-term examinations. "Clarissa needs to brush up on these 2 subjects. Otherwise, she would be lagging behind once she hits P3" advised her form teacher, Ms Ng. "It is unfortunate that she finds Malay challenging. This is accentuated by the fact that her Malay teacher, being a vice principal of the school, is regularly called away by his other commitments, resulting in an inevitable neglect of the subject in class." My heart sank as I realized that the school would not be able to help her but rather, I was expected to send her to the "right" tuition class.

It's a common strategy adopted among parents with children struggling academically. If one tutor is not adequate, get two! Therefore, most of her classmates are sent to tuitions 7 days a week. The term "childhood" is non-existent at this stage; and if anyone were to mention extra-curricular activities (like me), astonished looks would be cast. "After all, there is no time left to pursue anything. If there is, then your child is not putting enough effort in her studies!" commented a parent to me. But I am determined to be different. I would like my child to take up sports, enjoy music and attend BB so that she could learn about problem solving, team work, leadership and most importantly, God's words. All such activities come with a price tag: lower grades. "As long as Clarissa did well in English, Maths and Science, I must learn to be contended. Forget about the grades, class ranking, perpetual work and no play!" I kept telling myself and Ray.

Today I was feeling down as again, my values had been challenged when I discovered that Clarissa had failed her Malay test. "Should I cancel her music class so that I could send her to more tuition?" I kept asking myself. I had no choice but to turn to God and asked Him if I had done the right thing by refusing to conform. As I opened my daily devotional book, the verses sprung out:

"Many of those whose bodies lie dead and buried will rise up, some to everlasting life and some to shame and everlasting disgrace. Those who are wise will shine as bright as the sky, and those who lead many to righteousness will shine like the stars forever."Daniel 12:2-3

I could almost hear God telling me "Fee, you are not preparing Clarissa for her years at the primay school alone. You need to be focused on preparing her for her adulthood and eventually, if she would be regarded as one, who will shine as the stars forever!" Such words brought immense comfort and relief to me. After all, no parent would want to see her child fail in any way but after these verses, I realised some failures are not important; but there are some which are critical. May God grant me the wisdom and determination to distinguish between the two!