When Similarities Clash

Being the diligent one in the family, Clarissa could at times be overly demanding of herself and others. I know that she takes after me in this aspect. It is almost like watching myself scolding Joseph or getting upset when things didn’t turn out as she had anticipated. It was like a déjà vu!

Today, she had a whole unending list of complaints, ranging from how naughty Joe had been behaving, her heavy schoolwork, unreasonable teachers to how useless she felt! “I am useless, mummy! I can’t finish my work on time, resulting in you having to stay up for me” as she burst into tears. “Leave me alone!”she tucked in her head under her duvet, refusing to speak to me.

I was stunned as I realized that she had behaved exactly as I would have been: her choice of words and her action were my mirror reflections! If I were in her shoes, I would be pleading to be left alone when in reality, I needed comfort and assurance from my loved ones. Memories of my own struggles came flooding back when I was left alone to deal with my own emotions. I had hoped for comfort but didn’t receive any until I came to know Jesus. As a result, I had expected not only myself to deal with such conflicting emotions, but Clarissa to handle hers too, so that she could be like me: independent and unshakable!

Little did I know that Clarissa was growing into me! At the point when she hid herself in her duvet, I felt compelled to break the cycle as I felt the Holy Spirit gently nudging me to offer words of comfort. “I don’t know many comforting words” I told Him in my heart. “ Just try and the right words would come out” To my surprise, I heard my own voice in the room, telling her that whatever her feelings were then, she was being deceived. “You have always been good at your work; a mistake here and there does not mean that you are useless. In fact, Satan is the one telling you that you are useless, so that you would think that God or mummy didn’t care for you.” As she peeped out of her duvet with her tearful eyes, I realized that she had stopped complaining and started listening to my reasoning.

It would have been easier to walk away from her, and giving myself the excuse that she needed “space” to wallow in her misery and get over it. But it took God to convict my heart that I needed to minister to her, so that she would not become another “me”, hardened and impenetrable.

Later in the night, while we were doing our devotions, the topic of Satan implanting lies in us came up. “What lies had Satan told you recently?” I asked imploringly. “That my mummy doesn’t love or care about me.” She said “But now I know, its not true!” Once again, I am reminded of the reality of God, if He didn't comfort me when I was down, I wouldn't have the emotional resources nor the wisdom to comfort my own child.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. (2 Corinthians 3-4)