Doubtlessly Doubtful

Having experienced God’s healing, you could imagine how high I was! I can’t keep myself from smiling; I wanted to tell everyone about God’s miracle! My dear friend and prayer warrior, Liz’s description of doing an Indian dance round the fire, describes it perfectly! I told my parents, brothers, relatives etc how great God was!....until, Ray came back from work the same day and asked: “ So, who is going to stay in the room with Clarissa for 7 days? She has to be quarantined for that long right?” “Of course it would be me” I replied happily at first and suddenly, the overcast came!

My mind started to “function” again, in the humanly way. In both the Hew and Wong families, I have been labeled the one with the weakest immune system! I suffered from sinus for more than half my life; and since my kids were born, as long as they are ill, I am ill; The cycle goes like this:-

1. Joseph falls ill with fever and soar throat--à I will fall sick too with the same virus;
2. Once Joseph recovers, Clarissa would catch something from school--à My body welcomes the next virus or bacteria, and therefore, continues to be sick;
3. After Clarissa recovers --à My body tells me its time to take a break from my kids illness but instead, focus on my own sinus problems!

Therefore, it would be quite safe to say that I will be sick at least once a month and down with flu like symptoms or sinus for the rest of the month!

So, logically speaking, I will be sick right? Well, as Liz aptly pointed out, its time to rebuke negative thoughts! Again, I have to stand firm and start thinking about positive thoughts and “digging out” mentally some relevant scriptures. This is the one God had prepared for me through the ladies fellowship, just before Clarissa fell sick:-

After Moses had led the Israelites out of Egypt and their enslaved lives, they arrived at the gate of the Promised Land, one overflowing with milk and honey. God had performed countless miracles throughout their journey and I would have thought they were so used to doing their little Indian dance equivalent that they would have danced right into the land? WRONG! Twelve spies were sent out to survey the land, of which ten of them decided that it was too dangerous as the enemies were stronger and taller (by the way, God did not say that they had to fight the war, but merely just to survey). In Deut 1:27-28, the Israelites responded:-

“The LORD hates us; so he brought us out of Egypt to deliver us into the hands of the Amorites to destroy us. Where can we go? Our brothers have made us lose heart. They say: The people are stronger and taller than we are; the cities are large, with walls up to the sky. We even saw the Anakites there.” (Anakites were believed to be great warriors at that time)

After all that the Lord had done for them, God’s people did not trust Him! I would be very hurt if I were God! But, wait a minute, aren’t I becoming like one of them? I was beginning to fear that I will contract the virus and worst, spread to my elderly parents! Where would God’s glory be then?! Immediately, I told Ray to pray for me; I refuse to believe that God who had delivered Clarissa, would allow me to get sick!

Now, after 7 days of quarantine, I praise God for keeping me healthy! In fact, this is the FIRST time that when my child fell sick and I didn’t!

James 1:5-7 “If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. BUT when he asks, he MUST believe and NOT doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.”

Praise the Lord, for He is Good ALL the TIME! Let us continue in our little Indian dance!