A Missed Funeral

Lately, I realized I should have attended a funeral:- someone I knew dearly passed away a few years ago. Well, I didn’t know she was dying….she had all the symptoms of being “alive”. She was leading a normal life (or so I thought), has 2 great kids and 1 loving husband! She helped in church when time permitted and offered to pray for friends who were sick. However, she hardly talked about what was actually troubling her.

For more than seven years, she had been praying for God’s deliverance for a difficult situation that she was placed in but somehow, God had missed out on her prayer, or so she thought. Slowly, she began to lose her joy as she cannot experience God at work in her own life. Yes, she could see God at work in her friends’ lives but not in hers. She felt that her prayers became a habit; daily reading of the scriptures was no longer something she looked forward to…but she continued to do all the “right” stuff as she believed that she should still continue doing what Christians should be doing. She began to lose interest in her children and slowly, dark clouds were gathering. She wasn’t aware of what was happening to her: she continued to live, merely breathing but completely hopeless and to a certain extent, faithless. The trial that she was facing was slowing eating her up. The devil heaped lies after lies to her, the most severe being: “God has no time for you; He isn’t interested in your life but only wanted to test you.” She found herself telling others: “I have come to a point that it didn’t matter to me if I were to die today, I am tired of my life!” Then something amazing happens! God actually did hear her prayer and deliver her out of the situation two years ago; but you know what? She was so accustomed to being dead that she didn’t know what it was to be alive again!

Sounds familiar anyone? Well, this person was me! My spiritual life hit rock bottom years ago and I became indifferent. The worst part was: I wasn’t aware of it! The healing that took place in Clarissa’s and my life was like a wake up call for me! Suddenly, I realized that God is alive and well! If anyone thought that God’s healing had anything to do with me (my faith, or my deeds), then he/she is completely wrong! I was a total wreck!

“I have loved you with everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness. I will build you up again and you will be rebuilt” said the Lord to his people.

Mr Liew, a dear friend reminded me recently: Jesus isn’t indifferent to death; He wept at His friend Lazarus’s death. In fact, God is never indifferent to our lives and our death. God sent Jesus to us, so that we may have life and have it abundantly! It breaks His heart when we allow ourselves to be defeated, to be deceived and living in a lie. I thank God for His mercies and His ever lasting love; He could have focused his attention on more “worthy causes” but all of us, no matter all unworthy we feel, are valued in His eyes, so much so that He is willing to die for us. I have missed my “funeral” like Jesus had missed Lazarus’s funeral. If you are going through something today and felt that no one can help, then be assured that God is on your side; In fact, He has never left you but is waiting for you to turn to Him.